I'm not crying, it's just raining on my face

I have almost survived two whole weeks!  I do have to say that these have been the most challenging weeks of my life.  As many of you have seen on facebook, I have been very emotional and am having a hard time being away from home.  God bless my new friends because they have to listen to me cry and vent about missing home.  You know the saying "you are your own worst enemy?"  Well, meet the enemy...me!  I constantly remind myself of what I am missing at home and it is clouding the experiences I am gaining here.  For the last few days, my constant thought has been "why me?"  Why would God choose me to come and do this?  I have always been someone who likes comfort.  Granted, I haven't lived permanently at home since I was 18, but home was always just a quick drive away.  Before Honduras was even a thought, my plan had been to move home so I could spend time with Leia before she finishes school and establish myself at home with my family.  When God placed Honduras in my path, I was so excited because moving out of the country sounds really cool, right?  Well, easy to say until the move actually happens.  I was told that Satan would try to attack me once I got here, and man-oh-man has he ever.  My faith has been tested, my heart has hurt more than it ever has before, and I find myself focusing on everything negative.  I want to say "thank you" for the constant encouragement, bible verses, and prayers...they have all come at the perfet time and I am keeping record of it all!  In the midst of everything scary, I am extremely grateful to know that even when I don't believe in myself, I have wonderful people in my life who do.  One of my best friends asked me to start making a list of one good thing that happens everyday, so I am going to share quite a few of the cool things I have been able to experience.  Before I share the list, I ask for you to continue praying; pray that I realize God's purpose for me being here, that my heart softens, and I remember the reason I came.  I am still  wondering why in the world God chose me to do this, but He hasn't let me down yet, so here goes nothing!

Really Awesome Honduras Experiences:
 - Hello beans!  I am finally embracing the beans in this country...delicious and nothing like what they have in the states.
 - Never a dull moment when driving.  Our car situation is definitely one to laugh about.  We have a beaten up old Suzuki Samurai that is on its last leg.  I was laughing hysterically today while riding in it because I would be mortified to drive it in the states, but love it here.  I will get pictures for you!
 - New friends.  Bobby, Julie, and Dom have kept me somewhat sane.  When we are all together, there is nothing but constant laughter.  This is the best blessing!
 - The kids.  I have never met kids who are so quick to love.  Before they even knew my name, the kids ran up and hugged me.  Even though I only teach 5th and 6th grade, every student makes you feel loved.  For these children to have experienced so many horrific and tragic things in their lives, they love with everything they have.
 - Constant encouragement.  God bless everyone here because they have had to listen to my crying everyday but haven't complained once.  They have done nothing but encourage me and have kept me busy. We really are a family here...we do everything together and I am so very thankful for that.

And not only you, but anyone who sacrifices home, family, fields - whatever - because of me will get it all back a hundred times over, not to mention the considerable bonus of eternal life.

Matthew 19:29

<3 Lauren

Goodbyes feel the same in every language

As many of you have seen and heard, I am having a really hard time dealing with homesickness and adjusting to my new life in Honduras.  I have been praying and praying for God to comfort me, and He answered a small piece of my prayer this morning.

Today was my first Sunday experiencing my new church home and it was phenomenal!  It is truly a beautiful sight to see hands lifted and voices raised in a different language singing out to our God.  At the beginning of the service, a young lady in the band was asked to come up on stage with her mother.  This young lady was leaving to go to school in New Mexico.  I saw both the excitement and sadness on her face, and those emotions are all too familiar.  Also, Pastor Peter (my head boss) and Mrs. Tyanne's son, Josh, is moving to Orlando this upcoming week.  Their family has lived in Honduras for the last 20 years and Josh's wife, Anna, is a native of Honduras.  With today being their last Sunday at the church, there were many tears and emotions.  I was able to see that people all over the world are seeking God's will for their lives and are making big decisions.  For the past few days, I have felt so alone in that thought.  People kept telling me that I was brave for making the decision to move to Honduras, but I didn't see it as bravery until I got here.  It is a terrifying, lonely, exciting, humbling, and every other emotion all at the same time.  God was awesome in showing me that people all over the world have or will experience the same emotions that I am experiencing.

My prayer is that God reminds me of why I am here and that I can look past my own fears and find comfort in God' promises.

<3 Lauren

Yes, I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Just keep swimming...

Hola!  As of now, that is about the only Spanish I am speaking.  Well, I have officially been living in Honduras for two days and it has been an emotional rollercoaster.  To get you up to speed, our plane landed in San Pedro Sula, Honduras around 1:30 am on Wednesday, we then waited in the airport until 5 am to catch a bus to Tegucigalpa, and finally arrived to our destination around 10:30 am.  With waiting for our ride and the actual drive to the house, we didn't get to the house until after lunchtime.  At that point, I was extremely exhausted, overwhelmed, and a blubbering mess.  I am embarrassed to say that I cried all day yesterday and have felt pangs of wanting to cry today, but have not.  For weeks I was so excited and couldn't stop imagining being here, and now that it is here, I am terrified.  Luckily, my wonderful friends at home made me a friendship quilt and that has comforted me tremendously, along with cards, pictures, e-mails, facebook messages, and skyping with my family.  I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the support.  God knew I needed it – big time!  There really aren’t a lot of words to describe my emotions.  At one moment, I’m in awe that I’m here and living this, and then a minute later, all I want to do is cry.  I miss a familiar face, the comfort of a familiar room, and a familiar hug.  I never doubted that God wanted me here but it is really hard to stay focused on that when you are so overwhelmed with being homesick.  I feel like I just moved to college again and I remember sitting in my dorm room the first few nights and just crying because of being terrified and alone.  For all of you reading this, I promise that more positive posts are to come but I promised honesty, so that’s what I’m giving.

For a little positive, we had our first workday at the school and I got the purple and lime green room!!!  I am super excited!  Pictures will come later because the shipment hasn’t arrived with all of my decorations, so my room is bare (and you all know how I am).  Also, we to Valle this evening and I ate my first authentic Honduran meal…pupusas!!  If you love cheese, this is your meal.  They take a handful of corn tortilla dough and round it into a ball, make a hole in the center, fill it with cheese, and fry it!  Doesn’t that sound amazing?  In the next few minutes, I am going to head downstairs and have movie night with Julie and Lisa (thank God for them).  Oh, one more thing…my room is beautiful!  I am still unpacking, so those pictures will come soon.  And just as an interesting side note, I have brushed my teeth with the water and I’m all good (for now anyway)!

Again, thank you for the overwhelming amount of love and encouragement.  They have all come at the perfect time and I am extremely grateful.  Please keep praying.  I was told this wouldn’t be easy, but I had forgotten that homesick is the worst sick you can be.  Pray that God shows me why I’m here.  Hope all is well in America!  Miss you all!

Lauren

Goodbye America, Hola Honduras

As of now, I am sitting in the Ft. Lauderdale Airport terrified out of my mind and already missing home.  Just got off the phone with my parents and they are already having to encourage me and remind me as to why I am doing this.  I haven't lived at home (permanently) since I was 18, so this should be easy, right?  Words are few but emotions are many (thanks Pastor Jay).  Thank you for all of your constant encouragement and prayers.  If you don't mind, I ask that you keep praying...this is a lot to take in.

See you in Honduras,
Lauren

Don't Worry, Be Happy

In exactly three weeks I will be on a plane headed to Honduras!  What in the world?!?  Many people have been asking how things are going, how they can help, what I am feeling, and so on. Well, as my parents would probably tell you, I have not been the most pleasant person the last couple of weeks.  While I am beyond excited and anxious to move, I have been completely overwhelmed.  The paperwork, packing, accepting reality, and financial strain have all been STRESSING ME OUT!  I think the devil has been working overtime (but I don't need to give him any credit).  


As of today though, I can finally say that my boxes are packed and shipped, most of my paperwork is finished, and things are starting to look up.  My family and I traveled to Tennessee today to meet Bobby and Julie, a married couple that I will be working with in Honduras.  They are wonderful!!  They have listended to my ranting, answered my many questions, and are so graciously taking my boxes to the shipping location so I don't have to pay to ship them.  For the first time in a few weeks, I finally rediscovered the excitement and positivity that has been lacking.  

Even in the midst of frustration, I am constantly amazed at how God works and how He is constantly affirming my move.  It seems that He places someone in my path, almost weekly, who has a connection to Honduras.  I spent a week in Birmingham, Alabama on a World Changers mission project and a guy on my crew has a ministry in Honduras...crazy, huh?  We were able to talk, share, and enjoy special stories from our personal experiences.  Last week, I spoke to an Acteens group at a church and a lady from Honduras was actually visiting.  I spent the last part of the evening talking and connecting with her.

Finances have been a big stresss lately.  It has been very difficult for me adjusting to the fact that I am going to have to rely a lot on outside support and donations/assistance from individuals, rather than getting a "normal" paycheck.  I keep telling my parents that I don't want to be a burden to them or other people, and I'm really not good with asking for help.  But again, God always comes through.  A very wise person shared with me, "There are goers and there are senders."  Not everyone can go, so the senders helps the goers go.  Let me just say, the senders are just as much a part of the mission as the goers - we couldn't go without the senders.

 Funny thing is, I'm not even in Honduras yet and God is already taking care of all the details.  Thank you to everyone for your encouragement, love, and your prayers.  You don't realize how much your kindness helps.  

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Philippians 4:6

If you are interested in "sending", here are some great ways to help:

- Prayer

- Financial support

- Sharing my story

- Donating school supplies

If you would like more information about any of these, please feel free to contact me at Lmwood86@gmail.com

With a heart full of gratitude,

Lauren

Goodbyes are never easy...

Well, I'm already terrible at keeping up with this thing, but I promise I will get better!  The countdown has begun and I can't believe that in a month and a half I will be in Honduras!!  People keep asking me if I am excited, scared, nervous, etc,. and I keep telling them that I  really don't know what to feel because this doesn't seem real.  However, the main emotion is excitement!  Not that I'm ready to leave my friends and family, but I am excited to see what God has in store and to get going...I feel like I'm just sitting and waiting and I'm ready to go!  
Okay, to the goodbye part...school ended on June 10th and I spent that day and the ones before saying goodbye to the people and life which had become "home" to me during the last 2 years.  In response to me teaching middle school, and above that, middle school in urban Charlotte, people would say, "Why?", "Wow, I'll be sure to pray for you!", "You're crazy!", and so on.  I remember feeling terrified about teaching at Albemarle Road Middle because I had heard nothing but terrible things - gang violence, low-performing school, bad behavior, no parent involvement.  Here I was, small-town gal that had no real "diverse" experiences, and was taking the only opportunity that was given to me.  You will hear me say this a lot, but God really knows what He is doing.  For the past two years, my life cup has been continually overflowing with laughter and love.  I told my students that I would pack each of them up and take them with me if I could.  Needless to say, there were many tears on those last few days.  What beautiful children God blessed me with!  I sometimes think that teachers are looked down upon because of social status or whatever, but there will never be a better paycheck than the one of "thank you's", "love you's", hugs, and sweet memories that I have been blessed to receive.  If you are someone who works with the kids of today, I encourage you to love them, even when they may not love you back.  Sometimes we forget that they are kids and in the midst of their nasty attitudes, crazy antics, drama, and everything else, they need hope and love just like the rest of us.

God knew what He was doing when He placed me out of my comfort zone.  It took a small step to lead  to a bigger step.  I now know that I would not be prepared and able to move to Honduras if I had not had the experience of teaching in Charlotte.  Upon my move to Charlotte, God opened only one door for a reason, and He has opened my door to Honduras for a reason.  So Honduras, get ready...I'm coming!

Praying and Preparing

Well hello, blog world!  Nice to finally meet you!  So, the news is official...I am moving to Tegucigalpa, Honduras in August!!!!  Crazy, right?!?  Never in a million years would I have imagined my life taking this direction.  It wasn't long ago that I was in the car with my family and I was in tears because my heart was longing for "something" but still was hearing just silence from God.  I have gone my entire life hearing everyone say, "It's all about timing...things will happen when the timing is right...blah, blah, blah."  I can now honestly say, they were all right.  With all the mess, both beautiful and not, God has led me to this moment and I am so in love and in awe of Him.

For those of you who don't know the "story", I don't mind to share...

In March, I took an 8-day trip to San Ignacio, Honduras with a team from my church in Canton.  Up until that time, I had been feeling very unsettled about my plans for the future.  I had been planning on leaving Charlotte and moving back to Canton, but my heart did not feel at peace about that decision.  I was praying and yearning that God would just speak to me.  I remember praying, "God just show me where You want me to be.  I'm here...waiting."  From the moment I stepped on the ground in Honduras, I fell in love.  I have never met more beautiful people.  Outside of the daily struggles, poverty, sickness, and what we may see as hopelessness, I discovered the liveliness of God.  For those of you who know me, you know I tend to be a little, how should I say....high maintenance?  Bugs, cold showers, and random power outages are not usually my thing, however, those were the smallest of things compared to the beautiful blessings I received.  My heart has never been more at peace, calm, and sure of God in my entire life.  As we were preparing to leave, I shared with my team that I felt God calling me into missions.  Now, for all you teachers out there, I have seen teaching as my mission field and continue to see that it as a mission field for all of us, but it was time for God to use me in another way.  When arriving back to the U.S., I called my mom and tearfully told her that I felt God calling me to the mission field and possibly back to Honduras.  After many minutes, hours, and days of talking to God, I knew this was a door that God would have to open.  If He wanted me in Honduras or in the mission field of some sort, He would have to provide the opportunity.  Not even two weeks later, I was talking to my roommate's aunt about my plans for next year.  I mentioned my trip to Honduras and shared with her that if I could do anything, I would move to Honduras and teach.  Her eyes grew large and she cupped her mouth...and this is where God just loves to show His awesomeness...she then told me that her husband's family started a mission group in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, and their school has been looking for American teachers to come to their school.  Yeah, crazy!!!!!  Long story short, she contacted her family, who then contacted me, we talked and talked, and I have accepted a teaching position at the Honors Academy in Tegucigalpa, Honduras!!  

My heart and soul are just busting at the seams in excitement!  I'm not going to deny that I'm a little terrified...I'm leaving my family, friends, and everything comfortable, but am so humbled that God would choose me to do something like this.  

So, as God is continuing to prepare me for this journey, I ask that you would pray for me.  And if you are someone who is searching for God and His direction for your life, don't give up...keep praying!  Trust me, He's listening!

<3 Lauren