Off the beaten path: living God's call in Honduras

What do I have to do with anything?

2012-03-02T17:22:00.001-08:00

Before I moved to Honduras, many people spoke to me abouthow I needed to prepare myself because God would test me on the mission fieldin ways that I had never experienced before. They weren’t kidding. I think when you make the decision to distance yourself from everythingfamiliar and comfortable, the challenges of life become significantlymagnified.

I grew up living comfortably. My parents have always been hard workers and my dad alwaysmade sure we had what we needed, and for the most part, what we wanted. When you’re a child, you are so naïveabout reality. You don’t realizethe struggles, sacrifices and hardships that may be alive around you. Wouldn’t you love to go back tochildhood?

Over the last 3 years, my family has experienced more loss,heartache and uncertainty than I thought possible. The loss of loved ones – both unexpected and expected, mydad losing his job and our family struggling to get by, working throughemotions of anger and misunderstanding, me moving out of the country with nomeans of income and my dad having a heart attack just this past Sunday. That doesn’t even include the teststhat we have either kept to ourselves or experienced as individuals. During my time in Honduras, my faithhas been questioned and tested, feelings have been hurt and bouts of lonelinesshave masked all other emotions. There have been times when I felt like my body would just give way tothe overwhelming sensation of hopelessness. You always think, “it couldn’t get much worse,” butsometimes it can.

You know what is so beautiful about this grey picture? God has been and is alive in itall! When we thought our sadnessof losing loved ones would never go away, we were restored with the hope thatthey are living in the presence of Christ. When worries of financial strains flooded our dailythoughts, God provided in only ways that He could. When sickness struck and family was miles away, God was theultimate Healer. If our lives werealways easy and effortless, there would be no reason for God and Hispower. We are merely the bodiesthat God has chosen to live out the plans He created. God is not some evil man in the sky who chooses to releasehavoc and hurt on those of us below. Rather, God places us in situations where He knows we will grow andlearn, and that growth will come because we have to get to a place where wehave no other choice but to call out to Him. None of this is about us and it never has been. It is all about a God who loved us somuch that HE sacrificed it all through his son. He is alive in all things and our lives are about bringingglory to His name and nothing else.

"Havecourage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and whenyou have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God isawake."

-Victor Hugo

Take a glimpse

2012-02-15T17:47:00.000-08:00

I wanted to take some time to really give you a solidpicture of what God is allowing us to do in Honduras. He has opened the door to many ministry opportunities and iscontinuing to bring forth many others.

As I have shared before, we travel to Los Estados Unidos (18^thStreet gang village) every Monday. We meet with the homies’ (gang members in prison) families and the guysplay soccer with the kids. Westart off the afternoon in one house and have bible study with a localfamily. For fun, we have beenteaching them how to cook certain foods and have played some really hilariousgames.

We tied donuts to strings and raced to see who could eat them the fastest! So funny!

Once we are finished, we walk to another house and visitwith a very special family. Theyare an older couple that just recently had a baby girl, along with having threeother daughters and an older son. The father has been out of work for months and has no way of providingfor his family. God, however,always provides and someone has volunteered to support this family everymonth. The girls are dying to goto school but they have not had the funds, so this monthly support is helpingthe young girls attend school. When we visited last week, we walked in the home to find the babyscreaming and the mother all alone and struggling to keep strong. Stress and worry flooded her face butshe put on a smile for us. We satdown with her and we shared with her that her family would be receiving supportmoney every month. She began tocry and relief took over sadness.

Our last stop every Monday is Norma’s pulperia (cornerstore). Norma is a precious womanwith a teenage son and daughter. She also has an older son who is in prison. Every week, Norma prepares food for us and offers us a placeto sit and relax. She refuses totake money for the food she prepares. Language is still a barrier for me but no words are needed when you lookat her face – tired, afraid and weary. The police raid her home on a weekly basis because they are purposelylooking for a reason to cause trouble. The police know that her oldest son is in prison for gang activity andthey are hoping to accuse her younger son of the same offense. However, he is innocent. When we visited two weeks ago, heryounger son was gone. The policehad raided her home at 4 in the morning the Thursday before and beat him. They saw the boy wearing Nike tennisshoes (Nike is one symbol for the 18^th Street gang) and came toattack him. Because she wasfearful of what may happen, Norma sent her son away for a couple of weeks. Her daughter lives in fear and suffersfrom panic attacks on a regular basis.

If you read my previous post, you heard about the familythat lives in severe poverty by the river. We saw the need and prayed that God will allow us to helpthis family. Because of thefinancial support I receive from so many generous hearts, myself and anotherperson were able to fully supply new clothes, shoes and other necessities forthis family of almost 30. LastSaturday, we spent our morning and afternoon bathing the children, cutting andstyling everyone’s hair, painting nails, dressing them in their new clothes andtaking individual/family photos of them. There are no men that live there because they are in prison. Due to this, they never get to seetheir family. The photos that weretaken will be shared and given to the men in prison, which will be one of theonly connections they still have to their families.

Every other Tuesday, Ms. Lisa and myself lead a teen girl’sbible study. Young girls fromValle (Valley of the Angels) meet with us in a little church. Ms. Lisa and I have scheduled topicsthat we feel are important for these girls. The girls have so much energy and are thirsty for love and attention. It can be challenging because they havea difficult time focusing and really listening to what we want to say. However, God is allowing us to love onthem and spend time with them, and sometimes that can be just what people need.

Hard to believe that I only have four months left inHonduras. God has already spokento my heart about where my path may lead. My heart has been burdened for people who need love and a voice, and Godhas shown me that He desires for me to continue with missions. While my path may take me away fromHonduras, I have said many times before that we are all called to bemissionaries. There are needs inall corners of the earth. Alongwith having the opportunity to live in Honduras, God has opened another doorfor me to travel to Africa. InJuly, I will spend two weeks in Kenya. During my time in Kenya, I will be ministering to the local people,helping to finish building a school for orphaned children and loving on thoseon those sweet children. I ameternally grateful that God is orchestrating opportunities for me and manyothers to serve Him around the world. My prayer is that you would pray for these ministries, the people andfor the needs of so many. Praythat they would be met and pray that God will burden your heart for how you canhelp serve. I know that sometimeswe cannot be the one to actually go, however, God allows us to serve by givingto those who can go. For what youhave already given and for what is to come, thank you for your spiritualsupport and for your financial support. Changing lives and spreading the love of Christ in Honduras and Africawould not be possible without generous hearts. I am simply the body that God is using and you are just asmuch a part of this as I am.

If you would like to support this mission in Honduras or myupcoming mission to Africa, you may e-mail me or write a check to Lauren Wood(please send to Canton First Baptist Church Canton, NC 28716 and write Hondurasor Africa in the memo blank).

When God’s peopleare in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Romans 12:13

I am ruined

2012-01-19T14:28:00.000-08:00

It has taken these last couple of weeks but I feel like I amfinally getting back into the swing of things. Talk about an adjustment whenyou go from a third world country to the U.S. and then back to a third worldcountry. My brain was onoverload. I’m hoping that thesebeginning weeks of 2012 are treating everyone well. I am overjoyed to say that God has already showed up in abig way in my life and within in the lives of some of the other teachers. I’m so thankful for God answeringprayers and working in ways that only He can.

I wanted to get you up to speed on what’s going on with meand the ministries here in Honduras.

To be honest, school has been a little boring the past twoweeks. We have exams this week, soour time has been spent working on study guides, review and then repeat. It tends to get a littlemonotonous. To add someexcitement, the kids participated in a school-wide project last week. They had to recreate the nationalshield of Honduras. Despite mylack of artistic ability, I think I did a pretty good job drawing theshield. The kids colored anddecorated; they used natural elements (dirt, pine needles, flowers) to accentthe designs. I think it turned outgreat! We will finish exams thisweek and I look forward to getting back to a normal schedule.

Students working hard on their project.

The finished product.

I was so excited to get back to our ministry in Los EstadosUnidos (the gang village). I thinkthey were thrilled to see us, too! We usually spend the afternoon at one house talking with the women andplaying with the kids, but this past Monday was a little different. Mama Tye (the lead pastor’s wife) camewith us and we spent the afternoon walking to different homes and praying overthe families. Mama Tye’s mainministry is the 18^th Street gang; she visits the prison once a weekto minister to the men there. Theylove her and because of her work, we are able to work with their families inLos Estados Unidos. It feels likewe are all one big family. Thereis so much love that is shared when we are all together. After talking with our usual group ofwomen, we went to other homes and visited. We visited an older couple that just recently had ababy. They have 3 young daughters,a son and now a new baby girl. They named the baby, Ginger Tyanne, after Mama Tye. They are the most beautiful family andactually had the baby dedicated at church yesterday. While talking with this family, the dad shared that he hasbeen without work for 4 months and they have had no money at all. However, he shared that God hasprovided every meal for his family. Incredible, isn’t it? Forthose of you who financially support me being here, I was able to give money tohelp their family. We also metwith a lady and her two children. The lady runs a pulperia (corner store) and would not let us leavewithout giving us free drinks and chips. Her oldest son is in prison for gang activity and the police invade herhome on a regular basis. Becauseof the invasions, her teenage daughter has panic attacks every time a policeofficer comes around. The hurt inthis young girl’s eyes was indescribable. Mama Tye renamed her “Joy” because she smiled for us during ourvisit. We walked down the mountainto a family that lived near the river. I have seen severe poverty since I’ve been here, but what we saw therewas something I have never been exposed to. To get to this family, we had to walk on a 2-foot wide dirtpath down the mountain. When youlooked to your left, you saw straight down a mountain that was heaping withgarbage. It literally was a trash mountain. There is an entire family –grandmother, mothers and about 20 children – that live in this area. They had small shacks for homes andthere were dogs everywhere. Theyraise pigs, so you can imagine the smell. The river is literally right below them and it was full of sewage, trashand just about everything else. The children were crowded around, most of them not fully dressed. There was a group of young girlshuddled around the outdoor water basin, washing dishes in dirty water. To say that I felt sick to my stomachand heartbroken is an understatement. I was standing there in my nice clothes, expensive new boots, clean fromhaving taken a shower that day and physically satisfied because of having foodto eat, while the family standing around me was impoverished in every singleway. I am still trying to wrap mymind around the circumstances and way of life for so many in this world. I had the privilege of praying overthis family, and after the prayer, Mama Tye went and spoke with the grandmotherabout her son who is in prison for gang activity. The grandmother began to cry and went back in her housebecause she said it hurt too badly to hear about him.

You can’t help but view the world differently after seeingthe hurts of these people. When Icame home for Christmas, I felt estranged almost because the world around youis so different from the world you knew before. Everything was so clean at home and so accessible andeasy. Honestly, being home scaredme because it was so easy to fit back into that lifestyle – driving a nice car,going out to eat and sleeping in a warm house. Again, everything is easy. Then you come back here and you look into the eyes of thesepeople and they all tell a story. Can any of us really imagine living in constant fear? Fear that our husbands, brothers andsons may be taken away in the night. Fear that we may not eat for days, and when we do eat, it is a small portionof rice. Fear that our childrenmay get severely sick because your home is surrounded by sewage and you have noway of getting clean water. Itried to think of what my attitude and feelings would be if I had grown up alittle Honduran girl. These childrenbegin laboring at such a young age, even if it’s simply washing dishes andclothes. I thought about how manytimes I have complained about helping my mom out with chores and how many timesI have heard kids today complain about the same things. Shame on us. I 100% believe that everyone needs to experience being in athird world country. However, Ihave seen it and I want nothing more than to help fix it, but there is somuch. It is a hopeless and angryfeeling. Hopeless because we allknow that there are people who will say they want to help but never do, andangry because we live in a world that allows it to happen. While talking to one of the othermissionaries about such feelings, she told me that when you decide to leave theUnited States and live in an impoverished area, you are forever “ruined.” That is the perfect term. Never again will I view things the wayI did before.

I am begging you, for the people in Honduras and othercountries around the world, please find a way to contribute. Please don’t throw food away; if you donot have a use for it, take it to the local soup kitchen or find a use forit. Please find a good cause forgiving away clothing or other items; if you are not wearing it and are notgoing to wear it, give it to someone who will. Collect your loose change and donate it. Sign-up for an international missiontrip. And when we all sit down toeat that $5, $10, $15 or more meal, think of those who are digging throughdumpsters and make the decision to make a difference. Everything we have was given to us from God. It is not ours, but His. What are we doing with what HE hasgiven us?

This is Gabrielle. His father, Demon, is the leader of the 18th Street gang.

Sweet girl!

Some of the girls from Los Estados Unidos.

These children were selling donuts for like !0 cents. The little boy said he showered and got dressed up just to go out and sell them.

Kids playing in the street.

The house we meet in every week.

Visiting with a family.

Sisters

The baby, Ginger Tyanne, was named after Mama Tye.

Reflections and Resolutions

2012-01-05T13:57:00.000-08:00

Hard to believe that Christmas and time at home have comeand gone. I had anticipated it forso long and it went by so quickly. I was definitely in need of a refresher and time at home proved to beexactly what I was hoping for. Idon’t think I had one day to just sit and relax, but I was so happy to seefamily, friends and the sweet familiarity of small-town life. It made me very excited and hopeful forthe future.

As we are now at the beginnings of a new year, it is the “norm”to reflect upon the last year and make goals for the new one. I think this may be the first year I amdeciding to not focus my energy on a diet/exercise plan, which I know won’tlast more than 3 days, but to set my eyes on more internal pursuits. Before I get to my resolutions for theNew Year, I want to share just a few experiences and reflections from 2011.

This time last year, I was counting down the weeks until my 8-day mission trip to San Ignacio, Honduras. During this time and the weeks prior, I had been praying that God would direct my next move. I didn’t know if I should stay in Charlotte or move home, but I could feel God preparing me for something greater. Looking back a year later, I can’t believe that I am now living in Honduras. Over this past year, I have been able to see how big our God really is.
I went from having a decent paying job to a job where I depend on the hearts and donations of others. This has been a challenge. However, it was a lesson and an experience that I know God wanted me to have. Financially, I could be very selfish and materialistic. God has opened my eyes to greater needs than having the latest fashion trend and what it really means to rely on him.
I have realized how truly blessed I am to have the friends and family I do. They are a constant encouragement and support – my prayer warriors. This is one perfect example of life’s greatest treasures that money cannot buy.
Unfortunately, I have come to realize what an evil monster judgment can be. I have experienced anger, hurt, confusion and judgment from others and in my own thoughts that have broken my spirits. I have learned to not expect so much from other people, rather to expect from God. He is the only one that will always meet and exceed our expectations. He never forsakes us or lets us down.
People are not always going to like you. I have lived the majority of my life working to please others and gain their approval. You and I can’t do this. Know who you are and be proud of that. God made you the way you are and He makes no mistakes. Take the negativity from others and allow it to grow and strengthen you. My mom always told me that the only person you have to answer for at the end of your life is yourself and no one else.
You do not have to move to a foreign country to be a missionary. At every place in this world, people are hurting. God calls us to love and we can do that every minute of every day. Be a missionary.
Step out of your comfort zone. We cannot and will not grow if we remain complacent. I know it can be scary and uncertain but I believe that if we follow God’s call and we strive to work and love in His name, He will guide and protect our paths. Do not do yourself an injustice by living “safe” and “comfortable.” Christ sure didn’t choose that path.
Lastly, be thankful. Be thankful you woke up this morning and are blessed to live in a place where you have everything you need. I think I am correct in saying that you have a warm home, food in your cabinets, a car to drive, money to buy the items you need, clothes to keep you warm, freedom to believe as you choose and many other comforts of life in the United States. And even as extras, many of us have the latest technological items, expensive accessories, the opportunity to take vacations and many other luxuries. Until I visited and then moved to a third world country, I did not realize how much I had to be thankful for. Daily, I see severe poverty, hunger, filth and hurt that I never saw at home. Please do not take this as discounting the hurt and struggles of many in the United States; however, I think we are all guilty of putting our blinders up and refusing to see the needs around us. We (myself included) get so comfortable in the “easiness” of our lives and we forget to notice the hardships of others. We see the newest trend and our now older version isn’t good enough. We decide to donate an old coat to someone in need and then go by ourselves a brand new coat. Why is that we didn’t buy the person in need the new coat? There is more to be done than just donating at Thanksgiving and Christmas. There is more to be done than volunteering twice a year. There is more to be done than saying a prayer. Faith without action is dead. We see the needs and our hearts break, but do we really do everything we can to see that it is changed?

Resolutions. Goals. Hopes. While all of us have probablyconsidered a diet or new exercise routine, let’s choose an internal makeoverinstead. For 2012, I choose toopen my eyes and my heart. I wantto love in a more Christ-like way. I want to be eager to sincerely forgive and see others the way Christsees them. I want to find theplace where the needs of others are more important to me than my own needs (orshould I say wants). Above all, Ichoose to glorify God instead of myself. I am the body that God has simply chosen to do the physical work, butGod is the moving force inside of and behind me. Our accomplishments our not our own; praises and glory be toGod and what HE can do in this New Year!

Thanks-living

2011-12-04T15:24:00.001-08:00

My apologies for not writing in a few weeks. I promise that I have had very good intentions but it just happened to be that everytime I was ready to write, the power went out. I have been watching Good Morning America and have heard about the crazy weather going on in the U.S. Honduras has had some crazy weather, too. It has been ridiculously windy and very cold, well, for Honduras anyway. Today's blog is going to serve as an update. A lot of exciting things have been going on in the last few weeks.

First, this was my first Thanksgiving away from my family. I have always been a home-body and never thought that i would miss a holiday with my family. To be honest, I was dreading it. However, it turned out to be one of the best! At school, I was in charge of the Thanksgiving festivities. The students helped me decorate the cafeteria for a our Thanksgiving feast, complete with a homemade placecard for each student. The teachers all prepared a Thanksgiving dish and we served the students a traditional holiday meal. It was quite humorous to see some of the kid's faces when they tried some of the "American" dishes. Guess that's what I look like when I try a lot of the local food. When the students were finished eating, we made oreo turkeys. They had a blast! God bless their parents because they left school that day being hyped up on pumpkin cake, pumpkin pie, oreo turkeys, and extra helpings of all the candy leftovers. After feasting, we led the students in Thanskgiving station games. There was a coloring station for the little kids, pin-the-feathers-on-the-turkey, and Thanskgiving bingo. They had a blast! We ended the day circling up and sharing what we were thankful for. Talk about emotional when you listen to 14 former orphans share what they are thankful for. Many of them said they were thankful for the teachers because we had left our families to come teach them. Tear-jerker, isn't it? On Thanksgiving day, I spent the morning in the ktichen preparing food. This was my first year actually cooking something for the meal. I made crockpot macaroni and cheese, pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese filling, and russian tea. For those of you from Haywood County, are we the only ones who know about russian tea? I have yet to meet someone outside of Haywood County that knows what it is. Anyway, it has been a huge hit...I think I might mass produce and sell it as a side job. For Thanksgiving dinner, we spent the evening at the orphanage. Thankfully, it reminded me a lot of home. There was lots of noise, laughter, and delicious food. I did miss my family very much but feel very lucky to have been able to spend a Thanksgiving in Honduras with my new family, friends, and sweet kiddies.

Oreo turkeys at school

Thanksgiving at the orphanage

The orphanage was already decorated for Christmas. Each child has an ornament with their name on it.

Second, a few of us have started going to a nearby village, Los Estados Unidos (the United States), with the hopes of spending time and developing relationships with the people there. This village is one of the most dangerous in the city. The leader of the 18th Street gang is from this village; he is currently in prison but we have been able to go to his house and talk with his mother and son. The people here are so poor but are always smiling. I will admit, it is a little scary driving to the village. We must pass through MS 13 gang territory, 18th Street's rival gang, to get to this village. We get lots of stares and unkind looks and gestures, however, the trip is well worth it. I know that God will use us and I know He will protect us. During our first visit, we met with Demon's (leader of the 18th Street gang...don't you like his name?) mother and son. His mother invited us to her home and was so proud. She lives in a typical Honduran house with a dirt floor, no decent plumbing, and ragged furniture. To any of us, we would have probably been embarrassed to have people in our home but she was so excited. She told us that she had prayed for just a little house and God had blessed her with a big one. Demon's son, Gabrielle, is one of the sweetest little boys. Because Demon is the leader, his family receives "gang money", which has funded Gabrielle going to a bilingual school. Gabrielle and I were able to share a few words in English, which is always a joy. The more we talked with this family, the more the grandmother shared. Demon's wife and Gabrielle's mom had been shot and killed when Gabrielle was just a baby. The mother was holding Gabrielle when she was shot; the bullet grazed Gabrielle but killed the mother instantly. After telling the story, the grandmother brought over a picture of the mother. The picture displayed a beautiful woman and when I looked over at Gabrielle, he was staring at the picture with tears in his eyes. True hurt and sadness.

During our next visit, the ladies wanted to cook chop suey for us. The routine of our visit is that the guys play soccer with the kids and us girls meet with the women. I had heard wonderful things about this chop suey and was eager to see the ladies cook. Unlike our "typical" homes, these ladies live in homes with pieced-together rooves and walls, dirt or cement floors, and outdoor cooking and bathing rooms. We went to the outdoor kitchen and watched these women cook over a handmade cement stove. They would go back and forth between inserting more firewood and walkng outside to the washbasin to clean dishes. Everything was very old-school. The food was delicious...it contained noodles, butter, spices, vegetables, loads of salt, chicken, and hot dogs. They love hot dogs over here!

Tomorrow we will visit this village and will teach the women how to make Christmas cookies. Their hope is that they can learn to make cookies and sell them for money. If it were my choice, every single person in the United States would travel to a third-world country and see how so many in this world live. I am not saying that people in the U.S. don't have problems or struggle, but I think that if we saw the troubles that others faced on a daily basis, we would gladly choose our troubles over their's.

Hard to believe but God has already started speaking to me about what I may need to do in the future. Crazy to think that I have only been here since August and God is already preparing me for the next step. Please, if you have never traveled and distanced yourself from comfort and normalcy, go and don't look back. Whether it's for a week, a month, a year, or longer, just go! God will bless you and teach you so much more than you could ever imagine.

As I am preparing to head home for Christmas in two weeks, I will admit that I am nervous. I have seen and been exposed to so many hurts, faces, stories, and different ways of life, and I am worried that I will have a hard time adjusting back to a society that is known to be selfish. At the end of each day, I feel so extremely grateful for the life I have been given. While I am thankful, I don't want to become complacent. There is so much need and help to be given and so many stories that haven't been heard. None of us can do it alone. How do we motivate? How do we start? Is it possible to really change the world for the better?

Lauren

Birthdays, blessings, and burdens

2011-11-13T15:33:00.001-08:00

This is the first time I am writing to all of you as a 25-year old...eek!! How in the world did I get to be 25? I feel like I was just 17 a week ago. It's crazy how fast time flies the older you get. I'll admit, I was a little worried about not being around my usual friends and family for my birthday; I thought that I wouldn't enjoy the day as much. Well, was I ever wrong! It turned out to be the best birthday yet! The day began bright and early with an e-mail from my dad....they usually call me once it is officially my birthday, but e-mail was the only route this year. My family had also sent me cards and I opened those before I even stepped out of bed. Out of normal routine, I came downstairs before we left, grabbed my luncbox, opened it to get my breakfast, and surprisingly found a card. I had mentioned to Dom that my mom used to write notes and put them in my lunchbox, so he wrote me a birthday note and placed it in my lunchbox. How thoughtful!! When I got to school, everyone greeted me with enthusiasm and hugs (students always make birthdays so much better)! For all of you who were expecting me to meet someone over here, well...I have a boyfriend. He is from Honduras, has the cutest smile, and is in the 4th grade....so, not actually my boyfriend, but he thinks he is. Little Manuel brought me the most beautiful calla lilies for my birthday! God love him, he made his mom take him out the night before so he could get them. He was so excited to give them to me. The day continued to get better and better....my students were being very sneaky and after lunch, Mr. Dom had to "distract" me. Once they were ready, they blindfolded me and led me to my classroom. When they opened the door and took away the blindfold, I was surprised with music, shouts of birthday wishes, food, and decorations. My students had rearranged the classroom and had the coolest party waiting for me....complete with Justin Bieber singing "Happy Birthday" (not the real thing, unfortunately)! They had brought snacks, made cookies and punch, bought pink plates because pink is my favorite, made a beautiful birthday banner, and even made hand-made treat bags for all the teachers. I was blown-away at the effort, time, and thoughtfulness they put into everything. We spent the rest of the afternoon having a dancing party, complete with the cha-cha slide, macarena, and cotton eye joe (just for me). Mrs. Julie's students made me a birthday video (on my facebook), Mr. Dom's students made a huge card that the whole school signed, along with many other cards, notes, and gifts. While gifts are great, the love they showed me was the greatest gift of all! After school, us teachers went to the mall and then met a group of friends for sushi! The birthday blessings didn't end there...friends paid for my dinner and had bought gifts. On our way home, we stopped at the grocery store and while standing in line, was approached by a needy family. The mother needed toothpaste for her little girl. My heart broke at the sight, so I gave her the money she needed for the toothpaste. However, my heart still hurt for her; I could do more than just give money for toothpaste. With the financial gifts I've been blessed with, God was able to use me to bless this family with toothpaste and a few groceries. Dom even gave them some extra money. Now, that's how every birthday should be spent...giving to others, rather than receiving all day. To put an end to the day, Mama Tye and Pastor Pete had made a delicious cake for me. God has truly blessed me with the most wonderful new friends and family. I felt so loved the entire day, not just from those in Honduras, but from so many of those at home who took time to write to me. I was not excited to turn 25, but it has definitely gotten off to a good start! I think it may be a really good year! ;o)

My kiddos

The beautiful table and decorations

Hand-made gift bags

http://youtu.be/5nom4MuVADI

Link to my birthday surprise video

http://youtu.be/NTcMP4qoHpM
Link to my class dancing to "Cotton Eye Joe". Thought I'd bring a little country to Honduras.

So, I have always been a big believer in that God works in mysterious ways, and this may seem like a very small way, but it was one that has meant so much to me. I have been wanting a really good book to read for my quiet time and had heard awesome things about "Radical" by David Platt. There really aren't any options for buying such a book here and downloading sucks up our internet. God must have known that I wanted and needed to read this book because my Aunt Ricki bought it for me and sent it as a surprise. I was thrilled!! I have spent the last few days reading, and let me tell you, it's intense. If you have not picked up this book, you need to. I am just two chapters in and it is changing my life. The whole revelation behind the book is how we have taken Christ and the gospel and manipulated it into what we think it should be.

I want to share a quick excerpt with you. Just to preface, Platt is writing about a trip he was planning to take in 2004 to Sudan. He was reading a Christian news publication and came across two headlines side by side.

On the left one headline read, "First Baptist Church Celebrates New $23 Million Building"....On the right was a much smaller aticle. The headline for it read, "Baptist Relief Helps Sudanese Refugees"...Now, remember what was on the left: "First Baptist Church Celebrates New $23 Million Building." On the right the article said, "Baptists have raised $5,000 to send to refugees in western Sudan."

Five thousdand dollars.

That is not enough to get a plan into Sudan, much less one drop of water to people who need it.

I literally gasped out loud when I read this. When did we become this way? When did our priorities become the outward appearance of buildings, rather than the needs and salvation of people? I will be the first to admit that I focus too much on the outward and what looks good. Like I said, this book changes your life! I won't spoil it for you, but we have created a God in our minds that isn't even close to the true God. We like our nice buildings, catchy songs, and fun retreats, but what if our relationship with God meant that we had to hide in dark room terrified that we would be killed if we were found? The book talks about this; there are people in Asia who spend 12 or more hours a day in pursuit of God and His word, while hiding in a dark room - no lights, comfortable chairs, screens, projectors, or instruments. Would God and His word be enough for you? Shame on me for feeling so sad and sorry for myself when i first arrived here. Yes, I was away from what I considered "normal" or "comfortable" but I did not have to hide; I live in a beautiful house, always have food to eat, transportation, and spend my day teaching at a Christian school where we worship God freely. What will it take for us to realize that God IS enough? I urge you, read this book, learn from it, and step away from comfortable. Nothing Christ did was comfortable.

Wearing away the surface

2011-11-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

The past week or so has been crazy busy! We were wrapping up the first quarter ofschool, which means lots of review and then exams. As a group, we are all beginning to get involved in manydifferent “extracurricular activities”, which makes for really long days. Just to get you up to speed…

I have started teaching the girlssome basic cheerleading moves and cheers. Our school does not have a mascot or colors, so we have beenbrainstorming ideas. As of now,our favorite is the Honors Academy Crusaders and our colors being royal blueand gold. Sounds good, doesn’tit? I am dying to buy the girlslittle t-shirts, skirts/shorts, and big bows for their hair! If you would be interested in donatingto the cause, just let me know! :o)
The four of us teachers arebecoming quite the little family. We have begun praying together at dinner, having “family talks” in theevening, and are really working as a team. Honestly, we didn’t do this until recently. I expressed that I didn’t feel like wewere uplifting and encouraging one another in the way we should, so we alltalked about it, and come to find out, we all had the same thoughts. We also talked about how we reallywanted to be more than just “teachers.” Yes, teaching is a top priority, but what are we doing that is reallyministering to the people of Honduras? We are starting by preparing a meal once a week for ourneighborhood. We pass so manypeople on our road but we never stop to talk with them. We thought providing a free meal wouldbe a good start! We are also goingto host a Thanksgiving Food Drive at the school. We want to get the kids involved in helping those in need,so we are starting to collect food and other items for families in need. If you would like to help support thiseffort, just let me know! :o)
My birthday is officially lessthan a week away…25…half way to 50…mid-twenties…UGH! Can’t say that I’m super excited about this one.
I can now say that I get to gohome NEXT MONTH!! I really love mylife in Honduras, but I cannot even express the excitement I feel about goinghome for Christmas. There isliterally nothing I have ever been more excited about!

I know I always say this but only because it’s sotrue…leaving home and being taken away from everything you know really surfacesso many thoughts, emotions, questions, confusions, hopes for the future, and somuch more. Over the past fewweeks, I have been exposed to many things that I am not familiar with, and somethings that I’m not comfortable with. It is hard to understand how as Christians we can all have so manydifferent opinions and beliefs about certain issues. I have also become aware of the fact that Christians can besome of the most judgmental and close-minded people. It is a very unfortunate truth. I’ve come to realize that I have spent most of my life justskimming the surface of Christianity; the very “basic” story of growing up inchurch, going to Sunday School, youth group, church events, “reading” theBible, praying, and being a “good” Christian. While all of these are wonderful and help strengthen ourfellowship with God and others, being a Christian is so much deeper and I feelthat I am just beginning to grasp the full concept. What I have realized about my faith as a Christian sinceI’ve been in Honduras:

When you feel all alone and like you have 1,000 pounds weighing you down, God truly is the only One who can give you rest. So many times I have gone to other people for answers that would make me feel better in that moment, but lasting peace only comes from Christ.
The Bible is so much more than an index of feel-good quotes whenever we just need something to make us feel better.
When we seek joy and God’s desires for us, not our desires, we are able to focus less on ourselves and more on others.
We are made from God’s image and He is made from ours. I heard this in a message and it really hit me hard. Do people see me or do they God in me? My prayer is that I am just the vessel that God uses, while He is the one manning the vessel.
Being stripped of everything “normal,” comfortable, and reassuring is the hardest, most difficult experience, but is also the most rewarding, strengthening, and revealing experience. Sometimes God has to distance us from every distraction so that He may reveal buried feelings and expose desires, aspirations, and truths that we would have otherwise never known.

I sometimes wonder who I will be at the end of thisjourney. I can already see andfeel myself changing. I also thinkabout the challenges I may face when I move back home. Life in a third-world country is soindescribably different from life in the United States. God is really speaking to me about thenext step in my life and I pray that while I’m in Honduras, I seek everyopportunity and take advantage of my time here. As the days pass by, I pray that I am able to break thesurface and truly be a vessel of Christ from the inside out, not the other wayaround.

Lauren

A picture is worth a thousand words

2011-10-18T17:25:00.000-07:00

My time in pictures...so far!! Enjoy!!

Mr. Manuel (talks with the sweetest little lisp)

Flag Day Celebration

Aura playing a really funny part in the skit

Kimmy

Berta

Hector, aka the soon-to-be heartbreaker

My 6th graders

The famous Honduran beans

Learning to make corn tortillas

Viky and Valentina

Genesis

Bon Voyage

(sorry the pictures are so late)

Classroom

House/Bedroom

View from my porch

Pastor Pete and Mama Ty's house

Kitchen/living room

Our house

I hope you have enjoyed the pictures! I will try and do better with updating. As you can see, the children are beautiful and I so blessed to be their teacher. I also want to say THANK YOU, again, to my friends, family, and everyone who is supporting me during my time in Honduras. You are just as much a part of this as I am. I couldn't do it without you!!

If you are facebook, feel free to "friend" me. I have a few more pictures on there.

I will leave you with a few videos...enjoy!

Filling in the blank

2011-10-18T15:19:00.000-07:00

What do you think of when you hear the word“missionary?” Before this journey,my response would have gone something like this:

Someone who isfull of Christ and unafraid. Someone who doesn’t mind leaving family, friends, and comfort, so thatothers may know true joy in Christ. I had a picture in my mind of a person who is constantly smiling andjust oozes of Jesus’ and His love. The most obvious description would be that of bravery.

Like I have said before, I really felt like I would come,and with the help of Christ, change the lives of many in Honduras. It has been a constant struggle anddifficult realization that I am the one who needs help and strengthening. I am officially two months in and stillcannot fully grasp the reality of being here. God is showing me something new every single day. I have been confronted with ideas,fears, insecurities, worry, hope, inspiration, and in a way that I have never experiencedbefore. I was talking with somenew friends this past week about how I have never been so insecure aboutcertain things, until I came here. Moving here and distancing myself from everything I have ever known hassomehow surfaced hidden emotions. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I have no clue how to handle theseemotions. I have tried talkingabout them, journaling, praying, but most of the time, all I can do is bestill. Is that why God has mehere? I have always been someonewho thinks I know better for my life than anyone else, including God. By the time I was in middle school, Ihad already planned out my whole life. Funny thing is, nothing about my life is how I had planned it. Who would have thought?

One of the hardest parts of learning how to be still, is thestill part and waiting on someone else to take care of everything. My life in Honduras survives on relyingon others for every need. When Igraduated college and moved to Charlotte, I was so ready; I could finally be myown person – pay my own bills, save my own money, teach in my own classroom,buy my own groceries. I wascompletely independent and learned to fully rely upon myself. I have never been much of a feminist,but I thrived in knowing that I didn’t need someone else to support me. I became comfortable, toocomfortable. When God lead me toHonduras, my independence was forfeited. In every area of my life (finances, transportation, communicating,protection), I have to fully rely on someone else. Knowing that I cannot buy a plane ticket or grocerieswithout someone supporting me financially, that I cannot drive a car, that Icannot communicate with people at the store, that I cannot enjoy a worshipservice because I don’t understand it, DRIVES ME CRAZY!!

Who will I be at the end of this journey? This thought haunts me. Will I be any different? Am I seeking the wrong things? I still cannot find the proper way ofputting all of my thoughts together. I’m here and I’m feeling and thinking all of these things, but what do Ido with it all? Why is my familystruggling in certain areas and why am I not there to help? Why can’t I be completely honest andshow people that I’m struggling? Is it normal to have no clue what to do? Again, God, why am I here? Out of all the people you could have chosen, why did youchoose me?

My new definition of missionary:

Someone whoexperiences a journey of constant uncertainty and discomfort, but in the end,finds __________________________.

Praying that the blank of our lives are filled with thegoodness that only comes from our God. He is the true author of our stories.

Lauren

Honduras 101

2011-10-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

I still catch myself thinking, “I live in Honduras! How did this happen?” It is a crazy concept to grasp holdof. While there are somesimilarities between Honduras and the U.S., most things are quitedifferent. Within the past fewweeks, I have had bouts of frustration because I just want to be able to do“normal” things or buy “normal” products at the grocery store. After cooling down from my heatedmoments, I realize that this comes with the territory; I knew things would bemore complicated and less accessible. Needless to say, God is still working to strengthen my patience.

To give you a small glimpse of what it is like to live inHonduras, here is a crash course in Honduras 101:

Always greet someone with a handshake or a kiss on the right cheek.
Be ready to eat beans…and lots of them (I have never liked beans, other than green beans, so I am acquiring a taste).
You can buy anything in a plastic bag – coke, milk (weird, I know), water, pasta sauce, and the list goes on.
They have a Honduran version of Starbucks called Espresso Americano. My normal latte at Starbucks costs almost $5. In Honduras, it costs $1.50! One of my favorite things, so far!
They sell everything on the side of the road…cell phone accessories, cotton candy (that supposedly dyes your pee the same color), fruit, pictures, towels to wipe your sweat, everything!
Be leery of the dogs. While many people have dogs and cats for pets, there is large number of stray animals. Dogs are highly mistreated (kicked, beaten, etc.) and their instinct is to defend themselves.
If you are a hairspray user, which I definitely am, they do not sell aerosol hairspray – only the spritz kind.
Typically, eggs are not refrigerated.
The formation of cursive letters is different from our form in the states.
There is no speed limit or lines on the road. People drive like maniacs! Random side-note: Last year, two buses decided to race around the mountain in the rain and one bus fell off the side, killing many of the passengers. Needless to say, I am always a little nervous when we have to take a bus.
Do NOT drink the tap water! The water is not purified and you will get very sick.
It is not as hot as you may think. It is like a normal summer day when the sun is out, but it gets very cool in the evenings.
In the city, there are quite a bit of American food options – Wendys, McDonalds, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Baskin Robins, TGIFridays, Ruby Tuesdays, Chilis, etc. However, the “quality” is not as good as in the states, except for the McFlurries…they serve them with caramel on top!
There are certain areas of the city where we are not allowed to go. There are two dominant gangs: MS 13 and 18^th Street. These two gangs are rival gangs and each control certain parts of the city, hence why we are not allowed to go in those parts.
Don’t expect to visit a store, restaurant, etc. and have access to someone who can speak English. Other than the people I work with, no one speaks English.
Clothing style is very different. Imagine Hollywood meets Jersey Shore. Clothes are worn very tight (sometimes too small), men’s hair is always gelled, and the women are pros at walking in heels.
The socioeconomic status of the people in this area varies. When you go into the city, families seem to be very middle class. There are at least 4 malls in the city and they, along with the restaurants, are always crowded. However, if you drive just five minutes to the outskirts of the city, there are people living under bridges, hut-style houses that are barely standing, and poverty at every corner.
The money is called limpiras, or limps for short. One U.S. dollar is equivalent to almost twenty Honduran limps.

While there is some familiarity, it is quite challengingliving in another country. Recently, all I have wanted to do is hop in the car and just drive tothe grocery store. There is not amoment when I am alone, other than when I am sleeping. Myself and the three other teachers areconstantly together – work, house, outings in the city. I never really thought about howdifficult it could be to not have certain freedoms. As I have said before, God is continuing to test my patienceand I am becoming so appreciative for such simple things. So, next time you are able to hop inyour car and drive ten minutes to the store, be thankful. At this point, I would give anything tohave the option of “running errands.”

Seeking patience,

Lauren

One more thing....pictures will be uploaded ASAP! Sorry it has taken so long.

Where oh where is the land of milk and honey?

2011-09-25T21:09:00.000-07:00

After spending the past few weeks dodging sickness, itfinally caught me. I had to leavework early on Friday because my stomach was not very happy with me. Luckily, I work with some prettyamazing people and they made sure that everything was taken care of, meincluded. Let me just say, beingsick and away from your momma just isn’t easy. I spent the majority of the weekend in bed…no makeup, nofixed hair, which means I was definitely not feeling well. The students made me “Get Well” cardsand they were so sweet! I amblessed to be the teacher of such thoughtful and loving children. I am, thank heavens, on the mend.

I will be honest, when hearing or reading Bible stories, Idon’t really pay much attention to the details – who, what, where, when – Ijust listen for the lesson and how I can relate it to my life. Our lesson for today (in my bestteacher voice), comes from Hebrews 4. In all seriousness, God really threw this one my way today. Quick overview, the Israelites areabout to enter the “land of milk and honey”, however, they get scared. What comes to mind when you think ofmilk and honey? Sweet, soothing,warm…positives, right? So whywould they (the Israelites), or us, get scared when God is directing us to ourown “land of milk and honey?” Theonly explanation I can come up with is this – we are the problem. Why am I constantly wishing I weresomewhere else, doing something else, or with someone else? Because I like to think that I knowbetter than Him. God’s promiseshave never (and will never) change, but like the Israelites, we get in theway. If you are anything like me,we like to walk in front of God. Iknow what I want for my life; therefore, I think I can do it better thanGod. When we rely on other peopleor other things to guide our lives, we lose trust and we doubt. Eventually, we lose our life to humandesires, rather than gaining life through God’s desires. I feel like that is my life in anutshell. I have spent my lifedreaming, planning, and wishing for a certain things. It seems as if I have been so close to “it” (whatever thatmay be) so many times, and then it backfires and all disappears. Why? Because God will not allow me to proceed if I am afraid -afraid of giving it all to Him. How do you do that? Can someone answer me that? How do you completely place what youwant aside, not saying that you could or should forget about those desires, buthow do you give it all to God? Iwish I had the answer.

Much like the Israelites, we know that there is somethingbright ahead, but we get scared. We get to a certain point and then we cave in. I am so guilty of trusting to a certain point, and thenfalling back into lackluster faith. How can I share my faith with others if I choose to only believe half ofwhat I should? The really scaryrealization is, if we give up and compromise our believing, we never get there;we never make it to our “land of milk and honey.” I don’t know about you, but I want to get there and I thinkGod wants me (and you) there too. The key to receiving His promises, is simply this…believe. Not that I can read God’s mind, but Iam beginning to think that this whole concept of “believing” is a big reasonwhy He brought me all the way to Honduras. Believing in me will only get me so far, but fully believingin my God, that my friends, will you get everywhere.

Remember your wordto your servant, for you have given me hope.

My comfort in mysuffering is this:

Your promisepreserves my life.

Psalm 119: 49-50

Choosing to believe (or learning how to),

Lauren

I can't get no satisfaction

2011-09-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

Hello world! Hope this post finds you all well, as I hear that fall is making its way into the states. Surprisingly, it has been chilly and very rainy here. I don't really like the rain, but the cool air brings a reminder and comfort of home. I have been a bum for the past couple of days...living in sweatpants and oversized sweatshirts, sipping coffee, and trying new recipes. We had a couple days off from school for Honduras' Independence Day. When I wasn't livng the bum life, I did venture out to the valley to experience the annual Independence Day parade. I hate to report that it put the Canton parades to shame. Boistrous and colorful music played continuoulsy, along with the "traditional" fair food...it was wonderful and definitely made up for me missing Labor Day at home. I am happy to report that I am finding comfort in being here. My heart still misses family, friends, American food (Starbucks, especially), and other little things, but I feel that I have found a piece of my "groove" in being here.

Now, the lesson of the week. I continue to have heartfelt conversations with my parents, and shout-out to my dad for always being quick to respond to my e-mails and get on skype in the wee hours of the morning when I just need an ear to listen. For those of you who read my last post, I shared that I had been struggling with finding happiness as a single girl and how I have been praying and looking for God to show me any iittle insight as to my purpose in being here, rather, my purpose in general. Well, I'm still praying for all of those things. This week, I have been battling against the issue of seeing myself the way God sees me. Harmless jokes have been made, and like a normal girl, I find myself comparing my body and other things to those around me. I will admit that I have always been someone who is always trying to "fix" something about myself; my weight, my hair, my skin, etc. As women, I think we constantly seek acceptance and glimmers of hope from everyone and everything. (Sidenote: I have watched the Notebook like 4 times in the last 3 days, so this doesn't help anything). When I picture my life and what I hope for, I have so many "things" I wish to accomplish. Moving to another country and loving a different culture and people has been on my heart for a long time. That is why I am so frustrated and confused as to why I am already praying about and desiring other things. I feel like I keep getting blindsided by every insecurity I have ever had. In being here, I feel so completely vulnerable. I want to live, and I mean really LIVE. Moving to Honduras and experiencing a different way of everythings, is living to a full extent, right? But I still constantly long for more. I guess this is kind of a reoccuring theme for my time here. I asked my dad if he thought that you could ever be completely satisfied with what you are doing with your life? So, I ask you...do you find yourself completely satisfied or are you still longing for "more"? What is it that you want for your life and are you willing to work and sacrifice to get there? I sit in bed at night and sometimes don't even know what to say to God; sometimes I just need to sit quietly in His presence. Those are the times when I feel that I can breathe without having a flood of thoughts. I know that God calls us to constantly grow and go, but is there a happy-medium? Can you grow and not go? Or vice-versa? Am I growing? I realize that I have been asking myself that question a lot. It's funny really, after losing myself - my identity, in relationships, I prayed and prayed for God to show me who I was and who He wanted me to be. During the last year or so, I truly felt that I found who I was and who I was in Christ. That all changed when I got here. Now, I feel like I am swimming and pushing through the waves of an unknown identity. Who am I? Who are you? Who does Christ want us to be? I wish I could answer that question for all of us. Until the answer comes, I will be praying, waiting, hoping that God breaks down my walls and that I finally become the woman God wants me to be. I pray that you are seeking who it is God wants you to be. I spent too many years living for me and working to become who I thought I should be. As I have found, it has been in those quiet moments alone that the only thing that brings me comfort, is the hope and longing for God to take-over, and the promise that He will. Until next week...

For we are God’s handiwork, createdin Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10

Honduras is not for the "week"

2011-09-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

Shout out to Dom for the catchy title (thanks, Dom)! This has been, by far, the most exciting week! For the first time, I really began enjoying my job. I wish I had remembered that is does take time to get to know your kids. I also wish I could give you more detail about each of the kid's individual "story", but I want be respectful of them. However, I do want to say that they are the most loving and life-filled kids I know! I am continually amazed at their spirit and enthusiasm. They are real inspiration. Just to share a little bit about the start of each school day...we begin each day with a class devotion and prayer time. I usually find a verse for the day and we talk about how it relates to our lives. We end by sharing prayer requests and praying. Shame on me for being so negative and complaining because I am the first person my kids shout out when I ask for prayer requests. Quickly after they mention my name, they ask that we pray for my family and Tibby (they love my cat). I wish you all could hear these kids pray! And man-oh-man do they love to pray! It is a true blessing being able to work in a school where God is a priority and you can openly share His word with your students and colleagues.

I have to say that I am rather proud of myself because I started learning how to drive a stick-shift this week! Whether you can believe this or not, I can be a little "high maintenance" and never learned how to drive a stick. Learning to drive a stick-shift, especially on the roads of Honduras, was a very exhilarating feeling! Hopefully I will be a pro before you know it!

Okay, coolest part of the week...getting to meet the PRESIDENT OF HONDURAS!!! In Honduras, they celebrate many awesome holidays (we could really learn from them). On Friday, we celebreated Dia del Ninos, or Children's Day. Well, I like to think that our school is very lucky because the President's helicopter pad is literally in our backyard. It is located right outside my window, so it is a daily occurrence for our lessons to be (pleasantly) interrupted by his helicopter taking-off or landing. Since it was such a special holiday, we were planning a fun celebration for the kids; the parents were bringing in traditional food and we were going to watch a movie. Around 9 in the morning, we heard the sirens leading Don Pepe to the heli-pad. My students happened to be outside for P.E. when I heard them yelling for us to come outside. Once all the students and teachers ran outside, Pepe was already surrounded by the kids. As I found out later, it is fairly normal for him to stop by and visit with our students. Because I was a new teacher, and following cultural custom, he grabbed my hand and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek...way cool, right? He spoke some English and told me that he was happy I was here in Honduras. That isn't even the best part...all of a sudden, he pulls out his phone and calls in pizza, burgers, chicken, candy, pinatas, and toys for the whole school. Once he ended the call, all of his servicemen take out their phones and start calling. It was just incredible to watch because that would never happen in the states. Before he left, he told us that he would be back at another time for us to enjoy a ride in his helicopter! Later in the afternoon, like he promised, the goodies arrived!! I have never seen so much food! It was by far, the coolest experience!!!

Now that I have shared the experiences of the week, I have just a few insights into my mind and heart for the past week. After my streak of no crying, I broke down on Tuesday. Tuesday was Leia's 16th birthday and it hurt my heart that I could not be there to celebrate with her. As an older sister, while I try not to be a second mom, I love my sister more than anything else in this world. She is my best friend and I want so much to be there for her. I feel like she is the older sister sometimes because she is the one who consoles me when I am crying and upset. Needless to say, I am very grateful for her and her understanding.

Now for the uber girly stuff...many of you know that I am chronically single. I haven't seen many relationships in my day and I have spent the last couple of years working to find confidence in being a single woman. I know what some of you are thinking, "Lauren, you're only 24!", "Why are you so worried. You have your whole life to be married." Yes, I agree with all of these statements, but that doesn't take away the desires of my heart. God has really been incredible and has allowed me to discover myself within the last couple of years. There was a time when I thought the end of relationships were the end of me. My identity was not of who I was but who I was with someone. Within the last year, I really lost the desire for dating and being in a relationship. I found happiness in being me and experiencing life as a single woman. Even better, God opened the door to Honduras and I KNEW that I could not do this if I were in a relationship. Well, I don't know if the devil is trying to get me down or God is opening my heart, but my desire for love is definitely on the rise. This has always been difficult for me because I have always been the "single" one, always watching from the sidelines. As I said in my last post, God is working in me...I can feel it everday. Sometimes I think I can physically feel Him working in my heart and my life. Right now, at this very moment, my heart is longing for something that I cannot physically see, nor can I even begin to wrap my mind around. Like the worry-wart I am, my constant thought is, "You will be the old maid with a house full of cats." On the other hand, I try to encourage myself with the thought that God would not place a desire in my heart if He did not have the intention of fulfilling it. I was talking to a friend tonight and told him that I have the hardest time being still. I believe I spoke about this some last time. If God is trying to show me anything, I really believe He is teaching me how to be still in Him. (Side Note: I have been thinking about getting a tattoo of something regarding "being still". Thoughts? Sorry, mom and dad). I also had a really great conversation with my parents about what all I was feeling and what I was wanting for the future, notice I said what "I" want. If you asked me where I would have wanted my life to be at this very moment, I would have told you that I would want to be married, living in our own little house (preferrably near family), teaching in a school, volunteering in some way, and taking cooking classes (I've really been into the cooking thing lately). Funny when you look at my life and it is absolutely nothing like that. I think that God really finds it hilarious when we try to make plans and when we think that we know what is best for our lives. I think I can actually hear the laugther...

I apologize if I have been rambling. Honestly, I feel like my heart and my head are working overtime wtih all of my emotions lately. Much like how I left you last week, my prayer for you and I is that we find a way to be still and hopeful in our God's promises and plans. Another friend told me that we need to wake up and go to sleep thanking God. Even in the moments when we can't seem to find anything positive, thank God. Thank Him for having it all planned out so that we don't have to worry. I have not fully grasped this concept yet, but I'm working on it. ;o)

Calming the storm...and me

2011-09-04T17:14:00.000-07:00

The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"

He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

Matthew 8:25-26

Storms. We all go through them, right? Death, loss of love, financial struggles, and every other uncertanity and pain that life can bring. For the past 3 weeks, I have been struggling. Why am I here? Why can't I just live a "normal" life? Why can't I be with my family? Where are you God? These are just a few of the thoughts that have been clouding my mind since my arrival in Honduras. I will admit, though, that things have gotten easier. However, even though some things have gotten easier, I still catch myself constantly worrying. For those of you who know me well, you know that I worry about something to worry about. Not my finest quality, I'll admit. When I decided to take this step, my thought was that God would work through me for the betterment of others. I guess I thought that my purpose in coming here was to be the one who helps, not be the helped. I know it is only a few weeks in, but God is beginning to show me things that I was not expecting. Bear with me for a little bit...I will do my best to truthfully share what I've been thinking and feeling.

I have always thought of myself as a strong Christian, not the best Christian, but strong in my faith. It is easy to go around acting like you believe and trust, and telling yourself that you believe and trust, but the reality is...I don't think I've been very honest with myself. After participating in mission trips for most of my life, I felt confident in my ability to love and help those in need. After teaching in an inner-city school for two years and seeing the fruits of my labor, I felt confident in my ability to teach the youth of today. So of course, I felt it to be God's will that I come here and teach. I came into this thinking that was my purpose - teach and love these kids. Honestly, I have not been happy going to work everyday. I miss my "normal" school and my "normal" kids. I have been continuously doubting that I have purpose here, until today. My "storm", like the disciples, is not my circumstance but myself and my trust in God. At church this morning, Pastor Pete spoke about the above verse from Matthew, and it occurred to me, maybe God's main purpose in bringing me here wasn't to help calm the storms in the lives of other, but to calm the storm in me? I lay in my bed every evening feeling terrified. Why? I don't know. God is starting to reveal himself to me in a mightier way than ever before. I have lived my life always being within a good distance of comfort. I have always had "normal" to fall back on, until now. I do believe that God has a plan for me that involves me helping and loving the people of Honduras. Above that, I believe God desires for me to learn to live a life completely secure in His promises. I apologize if this is the image I have portrayed, one of complete faith in God. During these past few weeks, God has really opened my eyes to how much I need to grow as a Christian. This is the first time in my life where I feel like I am really learning what it means to live a life that is completely submitted to Him. I have never been so scared. Crazy to think that God had to get me to another country to learn this.

When people would ask me why I wanted to do this, I would say it was because I was terrified that I would get to the end of my life and know that I had wasted gifts and opportunities. I have been wasting some of my time here because I have been discounting God's faithfulness. My "theme" verse has become the verse below. My prayer is that me and you both would take time to breathe and be still in God's promises.

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Exodus 14:14

Finding rest in God's promises,

Lauren

I'm not crying, it's just raining on my face

2011-08-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have almost survived two whole weeks! I do have to say that these have been the most challenging weeks of my life. As many of you have seen on facebook, I have been very emotional and am having a hard time being away from home. God bless my new friends because they have to listen to me cry and vent about missing home. You know the saying "you are your own worst enemy?" Well, meet the enemy...me! I constantly remind myself of what I am missing at home and it is clouding the experiences I am gaining here. For the last few days, my constant thought has been "why me?" Why would God choose me to come and do this? I have always been someone who likes comfort. Granted, I haven't lived permanently at home since I was 18, but home was always just a quick drive away. Before Honduras was even a thought, my plan had been to move home so I could spend time with Leia before she finishes school and establish myself at home with my family. When God placed Honduras in my path, I was so excited because moving out of the country sounds really cool, right? Well, easy to say until the move actually happens. I was told that Satan would try to attack me once I got here, and man-oh-man has he ever. My faith has been tested, my heart has hurt more than it ever has before, and I find myself focusing on everything negative. I want to say "thank you" for the constant encouragement, bible verses, and prayers...they have all come at the perfet time and I am keeping record of it all! In the midst of everything scary, I am extremely grateful to know that even when I don't believe in myself, I have wonderful people in my life who do. One of my best friends asked me to start making a list of one good thing that happens everyday, so I am going to share quite a few of the cool things I have been able to experience. Before I share the list, I ask for you to continue praying; pray that I realize God's purpose for me being here, that my heart softens, and I remember the reason I came. I am still wondering why in the world God chose me to do this, but He hasn't let me down yet, so here goes nothing!

Really Awesome Honduras Experiences:
- Hello beans! I am finally embracing the beans in this country...delicious and nothing like what they have in the states.
- Never a dull moment when driving. Our car situation is definitely one to laugh about. We have a beaten up old Suzuki Samurai that is on its last leg. I was laughing hysterically today while riding in it because I would be mortified to drive it in the states, but love it here. I will get pictures for you!
- New friends. Bobby, Julie, and Dom have kept me somewhat sane. When we are all together, there is nothing but constant laughter. This is the best blessing!
- The kids. I have never met kids who are so quick to love. Before they even knew my name, the kids ran up and hugged me. Even though I only teach 5th and 6th grade, every student makes you feel loved. For these children to have experienced so many horrific and tragic things in their lives, they love with everything they have.
- Constant encouragement. God bless everyone here because they have had to listen to my crying everyday but haven't complained once. They have done nothing but encourage me and have kept me busy. We really are a family here...we do everything together and I am so very thankful for that.

And not only you, but anyone who sacrifices home, family, fields - whatever - because of me will get it all back a hundred times over, not to mention the considerable bonus of eternal life.

Matthew 19:29

<3 Lauren

Goodbyes feel the same in every language

2011-08-21T19:40:00.000-07:00

As many of you have seen and heard, I am having a really hard time dealing with homesickness and adjusting to my new life in Honduras. I have been praying and praying for God to comfort me, and He answered a small piece of my prayer this morning.

Today was my first Sunday experiencing my new church home and it was phenomenal! It is truly a beautiful sight to see hands lifted and voices raised in a different language singing out to our God. At the beginning of the service, a young lady in the band was asked to come up on stage with her mother. This young lady was leaving to go to school in New Mexico. I saw both the excitement and sadness on her face, and those emotions are all too familiar. Also, Pastor Peter (my head boss) and Mrs. Tyanne's son, Josh, is moving to Orlando this upcoming week. Their family has lived in Honduras for the last 20 years and Josh's wife, Anna, is a native of Honduras. With today being their last Sunday at the church, there were many tears and emotions. I was able to see that people all over the world are seeking God's will for their lives and are making big decisions. For the past few days, I have felt so alone in that thought. People kept telling me that I was brave for making the decision to move to Honduras, but I didn't see it as bravery until I got here. It is a terrifying, lonely, exciting, humbling, and every other emotion all at the same time. God was awesome in showing me that people all over the world have or will experience the same emotions that I am experiencing.

My prayer is that God reminds me of why I am here and that I can look past my own fears and find comfort in God' promises.

<3 Lauren

Yes, I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Just keep swimming...

2011-08-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

Hola! As of now, that is about the only Spanish I am speaking. Well, I have officially been living in Honduras for two days and it has been an emotional rollercoaster. To get you up to speed, our plane landed in San Pedro Sula, Honduras around 1:30 am on Wednesday, we then waited in the airport until 5 am to catch a bus to Tegucigalpa, and finally arrived to our destination around 10:30 am. With waiting for our ride and the actual drive to the house, we didn't get to the house until after lunchtime. At that point, I was extremely exhausted, overwhelmed, and a blubbering mess. I am embarrassed to say that I cried all day yesterday and have felt pangs of wanting to cry today, but have not. For weeks I was so excited and couldn't stop imagining being here, and now that it is here, I am terrified. Luckily, my wonderful friends at home made me a friendship quilt and that has comforted me tremendously, along with cards, pictures, e-mails, facebook messages, and skyping with my family. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the support. God knew I needed it – big time! There really aren’t a lot of words to describe my emotions. At one moment, I’m in awe that I’m here and living this, and then a minute later, all I want to do is cry. I miss a familiar face, the comfort of a familiar room, and a familiar hug. I never doubted that God wanted me here but it is really hard to stay focused on that when you are so overwhelmed with being homesick. I feel like I just moved to college again and I remember sitting in my dorm room the first few nights and just crying because of being terrified and alone. For all of you reading this, I promise that more positive posts are to come but I promised honesty, so that’s what I’m giving.

For a little positive, we had our first workday at the school and I got the purple and lime green room!!! I am super excited! Pictures will come later because the shipment hasn’t arrived with all of my decorations, so my room is bare (and you all know how I am). Also, we to Valle this evening and I ate my first authentic Honduran meal…pupusas!! If you love cheese, this is your meal. They take a handful of corn tortilla dough and round it into a ball, make a hole in the center, fill it with cheese, and fry it! Doesn’t that sound amazing? In the next few minutes, I am going to head downstairs and have movie night with Julie and Lisa (thank God for them). Oh, one more thing…my room is beautiful! I am still unpacking, so those pictures will come soon. And just as an interesting side note, I have brushed my teeth with the water and I’m all good (for now anyway)!

Again, thank you for the overwhelming amount of love and encouragement. They have all come at the perfect time and I am extremely grateful. Please keep praying. I was told this wouldn’t be easy, but I had forgotten that homesick is the worst sick you can be. Pray that God shows me why I’m here. Hope all is well in America! Miss you all!

Lauren

Goodbye America, Hola Honduras

2011-08-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

As of now, I am sitting in the Ft. Lauderdale Airport terrified out of my mind and already missing home. Just got off the phone with my parents and they are already having to encourage me and remind me as to why I am doing this. I haven't lived at home (permanently) since I was 18, so this should be easy, right? Words are few but emotions are many (thanks Pastor Jay). Thank you for all of your constant encouragement and prayers. If you don't mind, I ask that you keep praying...this is a lot to take in.

See you in Honduras,
Lauren

Don't Worry, Be Happy

2011-07-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

In exactly three weeks I will be on a plane headed to Honduras! What in the world?!? Many people have been asking how things are going, how they can help, what I am feeling, and so on. Well, as my parents would probably tell you, I have not been the most pleasant person the last couple of weeks. While I am beyond excited and anxious to move, I have been completely overwhelmed. The paperwork, packing, accepting reality, and financial strain have all been STRESSING ME OUT! I think the devil has been working overtime (but I don't need to give him any credit).

As of today though, I can finally say that my boxes are packed and shipped, most of my paperwork is finished, and things are starting to look up. My family and I traveled to Tennessee today to meet Bobby and Julie, a married couple that I will be working with in Honduras. They are wonderful!! They have listended to my ranting, answered my many questions, and are so graciously taking my boxes to the shipping location so I don't have to pay to ship them. For the first time in a few weeks, I finally rediscovered the excitement and positivity that has been lacking.

Even in the midst of frustration, I am constantly amazed at how God works and how He is constantly affirming my move. It seems that He places someone in my path, almost weekly, who has a connection to Honduras. I spent a week in Birmingham, Alabama on a World Changers mission project and a guy on my crew has a ministry in Honduras...crazy, huh? We were able to talk, share, and enjoy special stories from our personal experiences. Last week, I spoke to an Acteens group at a church and a lady from Honduras was actually visiting. I spent the last part of the evening talking and connecting with her.

Finances have been a big stresss lately. It has been very difficult for me adjusting to the fact that I am going to have to rely a lot on outside support and donations/assistance from individuals, rather than getting a "normal" paycheck. I keep telling my parents that I don't want to be a burden to them or other people, and I'm really not good with asking for help. But again, God always comes through. A very wise person shared with me, "There are goers and there are senders." Not everyone can go, so the senders helps the goers go. Let me just say, the senders are just as much a part of the mission as the goers - we couldn't go without the senders.

Funny thing is, I'm not even in Honduras yet and God is already taking care of all the details. Thank you to everyone for your encouragement, love, and your prayers. You don't realize how much your kindness helps.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Philippians 4:6

If you are interested in "sending", here are some great ways to help:

- Prayer

- Financial support

- Sharing my story

- Donating school supplies

If you would like more information about any of these, please feel free to contact me at Lmwood86@gmail.com

With a heart full of gratitude,

Lauren

Goodbyes are never easy...

2011-06-25T14:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm already terrible at keeping up with this thing, but I promise I will get better! The countdown has begun and I can't believe that in a month and a half I will be in Honduras!! People keep asking me if I am excited, scared, nervous, etc,. and I keep telling them that I really don't know what to feel because this doesn't seem real. However, the main emotion is excitement! Not that I'm ready to leave my friends and family, but I am excited to see what God has in store and to get going...I feel like I'm just sitting and waiting and I'm ready to go!
Okay, to the goodbye part...school ended on June 10th and I spent that day and the ones before saying goodbye to the people and life which had become "home" to me during the last 2 years. In response to me teaching middle school, and above that, middle school in urban Charlotte, people would say, "Why?", "Wow, I'll be sure to pray for you!", "You're crazy!", and so on. I remember feeling terrified about teaching at Albemarle Road Middle because I had heard nothing but terrible things - gang violence, low-performing school, bad behavior, no parent involvement. Here I was, small-town gal that had no real "diverse" experiences, and was taking the only opportunity that was given to me. You will hear me say this a lot, but God really knows what He is doing. For the past two years, my life cup has been continually overflowing with laughter and love. I told my students that I would pack each of them up and take them with me if I could. Needless to say, there were many tears on those last few days. What beautiful children God blessed me with! I sometimes think that teachers are looked down upon because of social status or whatever, but there will never be a better paycheck than the one of "thank you's", "love you's", hugs, and sweet memories that I have been blessed to receive. If you are someone who works with the kids of today, I encourage you to love them, even when they may not love you back. Sometimes we forget that they are kids and in the midst of their nasty attitudes, crazy antics, drama, and everything else, they need hope and love just like the rest of us.

God knew what He was doing when He placed me out of my comfort zone. It took a small step to lead to a bigger step. I now know that I would not be prepared and able to move to Honduras if I had not had the experience of teaching in Charlotte. Upon my move to Charlotte, God opened only one door for a reason, and He has opened my door to Honduras for a reason. So Honduras, get ready...I'm coming!

Praying and Preparing

2011-05-21T17:28:00.000-07:00

Well hello, blog world! Nice to finally meet you! So, the news is official...I am moving to Tegucigalpa, Honduras in August!!!! Crazy, right?!? Never in a million years would I have imagined my life taking this direction. It wasn't long ago that I was in the car with my family and I was in tears because my heart was longing for "something" but still was hearing just silence from God. I have gone my entire life hearing everyone say, "It's all about timing...things will happen when the timing is right...blah, blah, blah." I can now honestly say, they were all right. With all the mess, both beautiful and not, God has led me to this moment and I am so in love and in awe of Him.

For those of you who don't know the "story", I don't mind to share...

In March, I took an 8-day trip to San Ignacio, Honduras with a team from my church in Canton. Up until that time, I had been feeling very unsettled about my plans for the future. I had been planning on leaving Charlotte and moving back to Canton, but my heart did not feel at peace about that decision. I was praying and yearning that God would just speak to me. I remember praying, "God just show me where You want me to be. I'm here...waiting." From the moment I stepped on the ground in Honduras, I fell in love. I have never met more beautiful people. Outside of the daily struggles, poverty, sickness, and what we may see as hopelessness, I discovered the liveliness of God. For those of you who know me, you know I tend to be a little, how should I say....high maintenance? Bugs, cold showers, and random power outages are not usually my thing, however, those were the smallest of things compared to the beautiful blessings I received. My heart has never been more at peace, calm, and sure of God in my entire life. As we were preparing to leave, I shared with my team that I felt God calling me into missions. Now, for all you teachers out there, I have seen teaching as my mission field and continue to see that it as a mission field for all of us, but it was time for God to use me in another way. When arriving back to the U.S., I called my mom and tearfully told her that I felt God calling me to the mission field and possibly back to Honduras. After many minutes, hours, and days of talking to God, I knew this was a door that God would have to open. If He wanted me in Honduras or in the mission field of some sort, He would have to provide the opportunity. Not even two weeks later, I was talking to my roommate's aunt about my plans for next year. I mentioned my trip to Honduras and shared with her that if I could do anything, I would move to Honduras and teach. Her eyes grew large and she cupped her mouth...and this is where God just loves to show His awesomeness...she then told me that her husband's family started a mission group in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, and their school has been looking for American teachers to come to their school. Yeah, crazy!!!!! Long story short, she contacted her family, who then contacted me, we talked and talked, and I have accepted a teaching position at the Honors Academy in Tegucigalpa, Honduras!!

My heart and soul are just busting at the seams in excitement! I'm not going to deny that I'm a little terrified...I'm leaving my family, friends, and everything comfortable, but am so humbled that God would choose me to do something like this.

So, as God is continuing to prepare me for this journey, I ask that you would pray for me. And if you are someone who is searching for God and His direction for your life, don't give up...keep praying! Trust me, He's listening!

<3 Lauren